Health and Beauty Recipe Review: Shine Inducing Banana Hair Mask

Recipe: Shine-Enhancing Banana Hair Mask from the July/August 2013 edition of Vegetarian Times

The Adventure: My hair has a tendency toward dullness, so I was psyched to try the supposedly “shine-enhancing” hair mask.  I was doubly psyched because it provided a use for over-ripe bananas (I like my bananas just barely this side of green, so it’s hard for me to keep up with them).  So, Saturday morning, I mash up my banana, add some coconut oil, smear it all over my hair, and, lacking a shower cap, tuck it under a plastic bag that I then secure at the back of my head.  Then I went about my business for a half an hour.  When the time is up, I scrape as much of the hair mask off my head as I can, then hop in the shower and shampoo my hair.  After shampooing, I take a look at the ends and discover that I still have about half a banana in my hair.  Hmm, I think, maybe the vinegar rinse will get rid of it.  Rinse with vinegar, take another look.  No change.  Well, I think, irritated but not yet panicked, conditioner makes my hair slippery.  Maybe if I condition it’ll work out easier.  Condition, re-shampoo, check.  Some change but not nearly enough--I now have maybe 1/4 of a banana in my hair.

At this point the hot water begins to run out. 

Maybe it just needs more time under the water, I think, and go about washing my body under the lukewarm water.  By the time I finish and look at my hair again, the water is completely cold, and I still have a huge amount of banana in my hair.  Not to worry, though--I’m distracted from my discomfort by mentally composing my angry letter to the editors of VT.  Finally, I can’t take the cold water anymore and decide that maybe brushing my hair will get rid of what’s left.  Of course, then I’ll have a brush full of banana, but at least a brush can be replaced, unlike my head.  So I get out of the shower, stand in front of my mirror, and spend the next 30 minutes using a combination of brush and fingers to pick bits of banana out of my hair.

Did it work?: My hair is not noticeably shinier, although it does smell like a pina colada.

Verdict: If you live with a monkey or other critter that might enjoy picking banana bits out of your hair, go for it.  Otherwise, I recommend taking a pass.  My problems might have been due to user error, but I followed the directions to the letter, and frankly if a possible outcome of user error is having a head full of banana for the rest of the day, the recipe should have a warning to that effect.

Overall grade: F